Life lesson

Someone wrote something and it hit me. Most things I have achieved in life I have achieved due to my perseverance and survival mode. Like graduating for high school, graduating for my executive secretary studies. It’s because I thought “I have to succeed, no matter what”. Not because I actually liked what I was doing. I never did. I didn’t feel any joy. I constantly crossed my own boundaries. I constantly lived on survival and exist mode. I have known this for a long time but sometimes I have ignored it. I pushed it away. I want to get out of survival mode. I want to know what living is. I want to experience it before it’s too late. I’m working hard to get there, to change that. Awareness is the first step. I am allowed to do things that I like, things that are good for me. Things I enjoy, things that make life better, things that make me laugh. Life has more in store than just all that darkness. It must have. 

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